Sunday, August 2, 2009
A little birdie, but a totally credible little birdie, told me that a certain famous male neighbor did something really idiotic Saturday night*, without knowing a photographer was on a clandestine stakeout, catching it all on film. Now, like RIGHT NOW, the photog is trying to capitalize on the incriminating photos. Why? Because tomorrow, Sept 3, 2009, is the premiere of the sixth season of Jon & Kate + 8, and what the film depicts doesn't mesh with certain family values espoused by TLC, the network airing the show.
The photog has already been offered $10,000 for the pictures, but that's too low. Why, when a photo of Jon Gosselin leaving a bar with an unknown female (now known as "the schoolteacher") brings $80,000, and a photo of Kate slapping her child's behind brings $125,000, should he settle for just $10,000? C'mon, bloodthirsty tabloids, you can do better than that!
*This belongs in the "stupidest thing a celebrity ever did while knowing they were being watched 24/7" category, as well as the "I hate doing the show but can't man up to my overbearing wife or give up the perks like free trips to Europe for private rides on yachts of the rich and famous" category. It fits best in the category of "I hate the show but can't say No to it, so I'm going to do everything I can to screw it up so it has to go off the air."
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Penny For Your Gosselin Thoughts
Thursday, July 30, 2009
My friend Al found this rare Gosselin artifact and listed it on eBay. God knows he needs to do something with his time while he's standing out on Heffner Road, waiting for Kate to either hit the kids in public or Jon to boink a young innocent schoolteacher on the lawn. Please bid, early and often. We must give Al a purpose in life.
My friend Al found this rare Gosselin artifact and listed it on eBay. God knows he needs to do something with his time while he's standing out on Heffner Road, waiting for Kate to either hit the kids in public or Jon to boink a young innocent schoolteacher on the lawn. Please bid, early and often. We must give Al a purpose in life.
"The Talk of the Town"
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Kate Gosselin has called her hair "the talk of the town" and claimed it's requested at salons across the country.
That frickin' Angelina can make any haircut look good.
Gwynneth? Not so much.
For more stars donning Kate's hair, go here.
Discuss.
Kate Gosselin has called her hair "the talk of the town" and claimed it's requested at salons across the country.
That frickin' Angelina can make any haircut look good.
Gwynneth? Not so much.
For more stars donning Kate's hair, go here.
Discuss.
Why Do the Gosselins Never Learn?
Friday, June 26, 2009
Yesterday Jon Gosselin was spotted on his lawn, by a photog with a telephoto lens, smoking something that looked suspiciously like the evil weed. Although the papparazis weren't close enough to give it the smell test, it was a hand rolled smoke, and not his usual cigarette brand.
Kate was shopping at the Park City Mall in Lancaster. She was approached by a fan who wanted to take her picture in the parking lot, and her reaction was to scream, "Don't you dare touch my car!"
Jon has been caught with his girlfriend, caught getting blasted at the bars, and the road in front of his house is lined with papparazi from all over the US and the UK. He is now getting divorced and he and Kate are working out child custody details. Yet he still continues to take incredible risks. Kate has been called a bitch so many times her picture is now probably next to the word in the dictionary, and she has said Jon literally won't talk to her anymore. Kate says salons all over the country have customers asking for her haircut (I doubt it!) and she has been trying unsuccessfully to sell her talk show idea. Despite tons of feedback about her unearned sense of entitlement, her narcissism hasn't seemed to slow down one iota.
How totally self-defeating can two people get?
Yesterday Jon Gosselin was spotted on his lawn, by a photog with a telephoto lens, smoking something that looked suspiciously like the evil weed. Although the papparazis weren't close enough to give it the smell test, it was a hand rolled smoke, and not his usual cigarette brand.
Kate was shopping at the Park City Mall in Lancaster. She was approached by a fan who wanted to take her picture in the parking lot, and her reaction was to scream, "Don't you dare touch my car!"
Jon has been caught with his girlfriend, caught getting blasted at the bars, and the road in front of his house is lined with papparazi from all over the US and the UK. He is now getting divorced and he and Kate are working out child custody details. Yet he still continues to take incredible risks. Kate has been called a bitch so many times her picture is now probably next to the word in the dictionary, and she has said Jon literally won't talk to her anymore. Kate says salons all over the country have customers asking for her haircut (I doubt it!) and she has been trying unsuccessfully to sell her talk show idea. Despite tons of feedback about her unearned sense of entitlement, her narcissism hasn't seemed to slow down one iota.
How totally self-defeating can two people get?
Eight Minus Jon & Kate
Monday, June 22, 2009
Eight Minus Jon & Kate
8:57 PM
TLC's been heavily promoting tonight's episode of J&K+8 all week, and then today there was a big spoiler. Divorce papers were filed in Montgomery County, PA, for Jon & Kate Gosselin. I drove by their house yesterday and it was one big tranny mess of photogs, papparazi and rubberneckers dying to get a glimpse of some salacious activity, like maybe Jon doing a coed on the lawn or Kate beating the children with a wire hanger. No such luck. The garage door was open and once in a while a kid or two ran around the lawn a little.
Two minutes after my drive-by, Jon walked down the lawn and had an impromptu press conference with the pappas and r-neckers. They asked what tonight's big announcement would be, and he would only reply that they had to watch the show tonight. Why then were divorce papers filed today, rather than waiting until tomorrow when it wouldn't spoil the show they've been hawking all week? Who knows. No one ever said anything about the Gosselins made sense, right?
If I'd hung around and had a chance to ask Jon a question or two before I drove off, I would have asked him these:
1) Why, if it's all about the kids, are you getting a one-bedroom apartment in New York City? How can your kids visit you in a one bedroom apartment? And why are you getting an apartment three hours from your kids?
2) Why were you looking at a one bedroom apartment at Trump Plaza that rents for $3400 a month, when you could get Berks County's finest for probably a max of $1000, and be a half hour from your children?
3) What financial renumeration are your children getting for having their lives and their psychological and emotional health invaded? California is the only state which has any laws regarding making sure the children are provided for financially when they grow up. You and Kate wouldn't even have the show if it wasn't for your eight little beauties. You both live opulent lives with a great house and property and cars and expensive surgeries and clothes and now expensive apartments. Are the kids getting eight-tenths of the money, being put away as investments for their futures? Or are you taking advantage of PA's lack of child protection regarding child actors and neglecting to provide for their futures?
Well, the show starts in three minutes. I'm going to go watch the announcement that the Gosselins are getting a divorce.
9:50 PM
The papers were filed in Montgomery County today, even though the Gosselins live in Berks County. My question was, why did they file today, when it spoiled the announcement on the show? But now I know, because it's 9:50 PM, ten minutes before the end of the show, and the announcement about the divorce paper being filed was just flashed on the screen. Obviously, they filed at the end of the day, in another county, to coincide with the text which was previously edited into the show to be aired tonight. So much for "reality" TV.
Eight Minus Jon & Kate
8:57 PM
TLC's been heavily promoting tonight's episode of J&K+8 all week, and then today there was a big spoiler. Divorce papers were filed in Montgomery County, PA, for Jon & Kate Gosselin. I drove by their house yesterday and it was one big tranny mess of photogs, papparazi and rubberneckers dying to get a glimpse of some salacious activity, like maybe Jon doing a coed on the lawn or Kate beating the children with a wire hanger. No such luck. The garage door was open and once in a while a kid or two ran around the lawn a little.
Two minutes after my drive-by, Jon walked down the lawn and had an impromptu press conference with the pappas and r-neckers. They asked what tonight's big announcement would be, and he would only reply that they had to watch the show tonight. Why then were divorce papers filed today, rather than waiting until tomorrow when it wouldn't spoil the show they've been hawking all week? Who knows. No one ever said anything about the Gosselins made sense, right?
If I'd hung around and had a chance to ask Jon a question or two before I drove off, I would have asked him these:
1) Why, if it's all about the kids, are you getting a one-bedroom apartment in New York City? How can your kids visit you in a one bedroom apartment? And why are you getting an apartment three hours from your kids?
2) Why were you looking at a one bedroom apartment at Trump Plaza that rents for $3400 a month, when you could get Berks County's finest for probably a max of $1000, and be a half hour from your children?
3) What financial renumeration are your children getting for having their lives and their psychological and emotional health invaded? California is the only state which has any laws regarding making sure the children are provided for financially when they grow up. You and Kate wouldn't even have the show if it wasn't for your eight little beauties. You both live opulent lives with a great house and property and cars and expensive surgeries and clothes and now expensive apartments. Are the kids getting eight-tenths of the money, being put away as investments for their futures? Or are you taking advantage of PA's lack of child protection regarding child actors and neglecting to provide for their futures?
Well, the show starts in three minutes. I'm going to go watch the announcement that the Gosselins are getting a divorce.
9:50 PM
The papers were filed in Montgomery County today, even though the Gosselins live in Berks County. My question was, why did they file today, when it spoiled the announcement on the show? But now I know, because it's 9:50 PM, ten minutes before the end of the show, and the announcement about the divorce paper being filed was just flashed on the screen. Obviously, they filed at the end of the day, in another county, to coincide with the text which was previously edited into the show to be aired tonight. So much for "reality" TV.
Letter to My Neighbors ~ Jon & Kate Gosselin
Monday, May 25, 2009
Dear Jon & Kate,
I decided to actually watch some Jon & Kate + 8 after receiving so many comments and emails after my last post on you, my famous neighbors. My desire to learn about the show has been more than satisfied with the J&K marathon that TLC’s been playing this weekend, obviously to boost ratings for tonight’s debut of Season 5.
I’ve been watching on and off all weekend and taping what I’ve missed, since I do have a life and can’t spend all of a three day holiday weekend watching you on TLC. I just finished watching the Season 5 debut and gawd help me, I’m actually somewhat enthralled. Your responses to the tabloid rumors were engrossing. Jon, I agree totally. No one has actually seen you boinking in public, so no one can prove it. Of course women and men can just be friends. And Kate, I was impressed with your addressing the rumors head-on. You go gal. And I have to admit, I love your kids. Your children are smart, loving, well behaved and adorable. A little loud, but adorable.
Jon, tonight you said you have a different kind of career than most people have, because this is your career and this is your life. That may be true, but since you’re not fulfilled, how about going back to having a regular job, like you did before? Better yet, since you don’t need the money, volunteer somewhere meaningful to you. Not everyone is fulfilled staying home with the kids all the time. I personally couldn’t do it either, and if I had to I probably would’ve burst an arteriole artery a long time ago. On the other hand, my husband would love nothing more than to pitter around the house all day, neatening up and organizing to his heart’s content. Since you can’t escape your fame, how about using it to benefit a local organization that serves children who aren’t as fortunate as yours? I’m on the Board of Directors of a great one in Reading and it is incredibly rewarding.
Kate, you said that Jon doesn’t want to do everything at home, yet he doesn’t feel very good about you right now, so he likes it when you travel. You also acknowledged (and good for you, because you have to admit you have a problem before you can fix it, right?) that you’ve been very hard on him. Then you asked, rhetorically, what’s the solution? Well, how about while Jon goes out and does something more personally meaningful to him, you stay home? You don’t need to sell your books: They are selling themselves. Stay home and plan some fun things to do with your kids when the cameras aren’t around. May I suggest making mudpies or otherwise making a good old-fashioned mess, like most kids love to do? They won’t die of germs, you’ll get adorable pictures, and they’ll have happy memories forever, I promise. As a bonus, they won’t be OCD when they grow up, like a certain role model they clearly love and adore.
Last of all, Kate, about the bitchy thang. Tonight you really yelled at one of the boys, (I think it was Aaden,) more than we’ve heard before. My theory about most parents is that if they act badly in public (you know, like those awful parents who hit their kids in Wal-Mart) that it’s probably much worse in private, where they know no one can see them. One of the allegations the tabs have made against you is that while we see an extremely snippy Kate on the show, in real life you’re a totally out-of-control raving screaming Momster. If the report is true that it’s sometimes been hard for the TLC crew to film even twenty two minutes of airable material because of all the screaming and fighting going on in your home, you are not only in pain yourselves, but your children are being hurt by learning negative lessons about communication and adult relationships, not to mention the emotional confusion and skewed reality of having to pretend to be happy while the camera’s filming. Really, no one could handle all that’s on your plate without having occasional meltdowns, even those without television cameras in their faces three or four full days a week. Clinical depression can be caused by sleep deprivation and physical and emotional exhaustion even in someone who has no history of depression in their family. IMO, an anti-depressant might be a good idea, not only for you, but peripherally for your partner and children as well. Remember, a day without serenity is like a day without sunshine. Sometimes it's just the responsible thing to do. (Yes, I am a psychotherapist. I just don’t play one on TV.)
I would like to offer one more general piece of advice (not that you asked, but since I’m on a roll.) How about driving down to Penn Avenue and saying Hello to some of your neighbors? Stop in at the Cone and enjoy some ice cream. Browse Five & Divine and make chitchat with the locals. Take the kids up to the South Mountain park to play on the big jungle gym set or bat some tennis balls around (keys to the courts are available for only $5 up at the Township office.) And ~ here’s a novel idea ~ do it all without the TLC crew, or calling ahead to ensure freebies. You'll not only enjoy your new little town, but your fellow Wernersvillians will become more protective of you (and less gossipy about you!) when they have been given actual human beings to care about and become attached to. Remember, everything doesn't have to be an episode. Just pile into that big ugly blue van and Go! Just have fun together, just for the hell of it, like a real family.
See you at the supermarket, neighbors,
Polly
Dear Jon & Kate,
I decided to actually watch some Jon & Kate + 8 after receiving so many comments and emails after my last post on you, my famous neighbors. My desire to learn about the show has been more than satisfied with the J&K marathon that TLC’s been playing this weekend, obviously to boost ratings for tonight’s debut of Season 5.
I’ve been watching on and off all weekend and taping what I’ve missed, since I do have a life and can’t spend all of a three day holiday weekend watching you on TLC. I just finished watching the Season 5 debut and gawd help me, I’m actually somewhat enthralled. Your responses to the tabloid rumors were engrossing. Jon, I agree totally. No one has actually seen you boinking in public, so no one can prove it. Of course women and men can just be friends. And Kate, I was impressed with your addressing the rumors head-on. You go gal. And I have to admit, I love your kids. Your children are smart, loving, well behaved and adorable. A little loud, but adorable.
Jon, tonight you said you have a different kind of career than most people have, because this is your career and this is your life. That may be true, but since you’re not fulfilled, how about going back to having a regular job, like you did before? Better yet, since you don’t need the money, volunteer somewhere meaningful to you. Not everyone is fulfilled staying home with the kids all the time. I personally couldn’t do it either, and if I had to I probably would’ve burst an arteriole artery a long time ago. On the other hand, my husband would love nothing more than to pitter around the house all day, neatening up and organizing to his heart’s content. Since you can’t escape your fame, how about using it to benefit a local organization that serves children who aren’t as fortunate as yours? I’m on the Board of Directors of a great one in Reading and it is incredibly rewarding.
Kate, you said that Jon doesn’t want to do everything at home, yet he doesn’t feel very good about you right now, so he likes it when you travel. You also acknowledged (and good for you, because you have to admit you have a problem before you can fix it, right?) that you’ve been very hard on him. Then you asked, rhetorically, what’s the solution? Well, how about while Jon goes out and does something more personally meaningful to him, you stay home? You don’t need to sell your books: They are selling themselves. Stay home and plan some fun things to do with your kids when the cameras aren’t around. May I suggest making mudpies or otherwise making a good old-fashioned mess, like most kids love to do? They won’t die of germs, you’ll get adorable pictures, and they’ll have happy memories forever, I promise. As a bonus, they won’t be OCD when they grow up, like a certain role model they clearly love and adore.
Last of all, Kate, about the bitchy thang. Tonight you really yelled at one of the boys, (I think it was Aaden,) more than we’ve heard before. My theory about most parents is that if they act badly in public (you know, like those awful parents who hit their kids in Wal-Mart) that it’s probably much worse in private, where they know no one can see them. One of the allegations the tabs have made against you is that while we see an extremely snippy Kate on the show, in real life you’re a totally out-of-control raving screaming Momster. If the report is true that it’s sometimes been hard for the TLC crew to film even twenty two minutes of airable material because of all the screaming and fighting going on in your home, you are not only in pain yourselves, but your children are being hurt by learning negative lessons about communication and adult relationships, not to mention the emotional confusion and skewed reality of having to pretend to be happy while the camera’s filming. Really, no one could handle all that’s on your plate without having occasional meltdowns, even those without television cameras in their faces three or four full days a week. Clinical depression can be caused by sleep deprivation and physical and emotional exhaustion even in someone who has no history of depression in their family. IMO, an anti-depressant might be a good idea, not only for you, but peripherally for your partner and children as well. Remember, a day without serenity is like a day without sunshine. Sometimes it's just the responsible thing to do. (Yes, I am a psychotherapist. I just don’t play one on TV.)
I would like to offer one more general piece of advice (not that you asked, but since I’m on a roll.) How about driving down to Penn Avenue and saying Hello to some of your neighbors? Stop in at the Cone and enjoy some ice cream. Browse Five & Divine and make chitchat with the locals. Take the kids up to the South Mountain park to play on the big jungle gym set or bat some tennis balls around (keys to the courts are available for only $5 up at the Township office.) And ~ here’s a novel idea ~ do it all without the TLC crew, or calling ahead to ensure freebies. You'll not only enjoy your new little town, but your fellow Wernersvillians will become more protective of you (and less gossipy about you!) when they have been given actual human beings to care about and become attached to. Remember, everything doesn't have to be an episode. Just pile into that big ugly blue van and Go! Just have fun together, just for the hell of it, like a real family.
See you at the supermarket, neighbors,
Polly
Stalking Jon & Kate the Small Town Way
Sunday April 19, 2009
A couple of posts ago I wrote about our Wernersville Neighbors, Jon and Kate Gosselin. They and their sizable brood live a couple of miles from us on a beautiful property they bought, coincidentally, from the obstetrician who delivered our first son.
A couple of posts ago I wrote about our Wernersville Neighbors, Jon and Kate Gosselin. They and their sizable brood live a couple of miles from us on a beautiful property they bought, coincidentally, from the obstetrician who delivered our first son.
Last week my friend Amy visited from Ohio and I took her out to see J&Ks house. She's a huge J&K fan, has seen every episode, and knows everyone who's ever been on the show. (This is compared to me, who has seen maybe a total of three episodes and just doesn't get what the fuss is all about.) Before embarking on our journey to the home we stopped in at a couple of local establishments to query within about any recent Gosselin Gossip I may have missed on my daily errand-runnings. Here are some of the hot tidbits we picked up.
J&K have not yet been spotted at one local business, although the producers did stop in and say they might be coming by and if so, cameras would be following closely behind. (I guess because the business is public property because it's partially funded through the govenment, so the cameras can enter any time they wish.) One employee there, who shall remain nameless, stated that if the cameras come in the front door she's going out the back. It was generally hoped that if the producers do plan on following the Gosselins into said establishment, the least they can do is provide a preliminary phone call the day previous to the visit so the employees have an opportunity to dress nicely for the occasion.
Another person (who I'll call Pat. Well, okay, that's actually her real name) said that she went to a yard sale held by J&K when they lived in Wyomissing, prior to the move to Elizabethtown (previous to their most recent move to Wernersville.) The yard saler said that Kate, who was (wo)manning the yardsale tables, had her undies all in a bundle because Jon refused to sweep the sidewalk, which Jon was understandably reluctant to do as there was a yard sale in progress. (This was before they were famous, so Pat just thought Kate was somewhat bossy.) At one point Pat complimented Kate on a state-of-the-art snuggly for sale, to which Kate whined that someone had given it to her, but had only given her one, whereas she had six babies, and what was she to do with only one lousy snuggly? [Pat's comment to me was that while Kate complained about the brazen inconsideracy of the stingy snuggly-giver, Pat wondered what Kate would ever be able to do with six snugglies anyway: Wear two on her chest, two on her back, and one on each ankle?]*
In one establishment we ran into someone who used to be close to Kate and babysat the six when they were babies. She said she doesn't know why Kate stopped calling her for help but she said she grew to love the babies (now four yrs old) and still misses them. She says things (well, okay, Kate) changed after television cameras entered the Gosselin's lives.**
Amy and I were all aglow with our luck at running into actual human beings who had had real interactions with our famous yet elusive subjects. We continued on our journey two miles out of town and both drew our breath when we rounded the corner and saw the property. It is truly beautiful, idyllic really.
***
***
We stopped the car to enjoy the view and take a couple of pictures when I noticed another car had pulled up behind us and was doing the same rude rubbernecking we were so deliciously guilty of. There was a white van which looked like it belonged to something like a security company parked at the end of the driveway and a man got out and was looking through the tall metal gate. At that point there was a flurry of activity coming down the yard and Amy and I both broke into shrieks of inane hysterical laughter as we saw Jon zooming toward us on a pimped out golf cart. I put the car into drive and we pretended to not give a rat's ass about seeing Jon in person as we drove by hopefully appearing nonchalant but secretly clutching each other's hands while shrieking under our breath, "Didyouseethat? OhmygawdwasthatJon? OhmygawdthatwasJon! Jezezwashepissed! HaHahahahahaha!"
For those of you who have propagated or spread the rumors that Jon is gonadless, let me set you straight. The man has some fire in him as evidenced by his face which gets very red when he is furious. I don't know if he was pissed at the white truck in his driveway, at us, or at the car behind us, but in any case it sure wasn't pretty.
That was so much fun that after Amy and I drove by, we turned around and drove slowly in front of the house again, back toward my home. By that time Jon was talking with the white-van guy at the end of the driveway inside the gate. Then, after Amy and I went back into town and had Thai for lunch, we drove back out to the house for more! (Don't worry, we changed vehicles so as to not appear to be stalkers. I mean, driving by slowly taking pictures gawking and giggling uncontrollably the same day in the same vehicle twice? Well now, that would be just plain rude.)
Here's my friend Amy's hands taking pictures. By this time the white truck had been allowed inside the property. The guy on the right with the black knit hat on is Jon.
When we drove to the house in the second vehicle, Jon and all of the kids were outside playing in the driveway. The children were all wearing different colored coats and some of them were riding little trikes and bikes around and around. I have to say they were adorable, kind of like multicolored spinning muchkins only not creepy, and although I have no idea who was who, Amy could be heard next to me gasping, "Oh, that's Mady! Oh look, there's Joel! That's Alexis!" ****
I'm sure I'll have more news for you the next time I take another J&K fanatic out to see their house. Meanwhile I'll try working on those pictures tomorrow. Maybe Blogger will be feeling a little more amenable to our insatiable tabloidish desires by then.
*I realize the potential for J&K rumors is ginormous and so I assure you that "Pat" is a real person and she and I have been friends for years.
**I heard this first person from the former babysitter, who is someone I have had many conversations with and whom I have no reason to believe would make this up.
***Click on each image to see it blown up. If you're really OCD for J&K you can print them out, blow them up, and make a living room mural out of them.
****Blogger is being a pain in the ass and refuses to let me post all of the pictures I risked my reputation as a classy, considerate and sensitive person to take just for you.
**I heard this first person from the former babysitter, who is someone I have had many conversations with and whom I have no reason to believe would make this up.
***Click on each image to see it blown up. If you're really OCD for J&K you can print them out, blow them up, and make a living room mural out of them.
****Blogger is being a pain in the ass and refuses to let me post all of the pictures I risked my reputation as a classy, considerate and sensitive person to take just for you.
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